poured wine and silver smoke
by suicidebycyanide
Summary: It's been two years since the car accident that almost killed Nadine and now she's convinced she keeps seeing the same silver car with the registration beginning VX56. - —Christine/Robert/OC. [three/three]
1. CHAPTER I

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**poured wine and silver smoke**  
_i loved you more (when we had no money)_

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It took Nadine fifteen months to piece together the events of the car accident that almost killed her and left her in a medically induced coma. The first flashback happened 18th June just as she reached the zebra crossing in town with Harry.

She couldn't explain it but she just froze. Her whole body stuck to the spot, her hands gripped the handles of Harry's pram. She remembered a silver car parked up, the beginning of the registration — VX56. As soon as it appeared, it disappeared and Nadine hoped that was the last of her flashbacks.

The second happened almost a week after, this time she was outside the hospital with Robert, her father. She dropped the cigarette lighter on the floor as her memories came flooding back. This time it wasn't just the car waiting on the side of the road.

_A man, grey suit in his twenties. He was stood outside Woolworth's, staring in her direction. He slowly approached her before Nadine asked for a cigarette lighter. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a clipper. The lighter was yellow, a black circle with eyes on it. As soon as she finished, she handed back the lighter and he walked away._

Nadine froze. Her eyes were fixated on the same spot where she dropped the lighter and it bounced. Robert called her name several times but to no response and he instead touched her arm. The feel of Robert on her arm broke through her thoughts and she jumped slightly, mumbling an apology.

"You alright?"

Nadine was silent, she wasn't really sure what to say. She hadn't told anyone yet about the flashbacks of the accident because she knew her parents would worry about her. Instead she thought she could keep them to herself for now.

She swallows hard as she makes eye contact with her father before bending down to pick up the lighter. As she picked it up and held it tightly in her palm, she turned to her father; "if I tell you, you have to promise you can't tell mum."

"I promise."

There's a pause before she replies, "I've been having flashbacks of the accident."

Robert nodded his head, both him and Christine had expected this to happen. They knew at some point Nadine was going to remember what happened that day when the car came speeding towards her and almost killed her.

She'd survived but only just. Her heart stopped multiple times and she'd suffered internal injuries that were, at times touch and go. Her life had changed after that, not only had the accident caused her to nearly die but everything she'd had in life changed. The man who'd raised her wasn't her biological father and her godfather was. Nadine took a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket, placed one in her mouth and lit up.

"What do you remember?"

"Well that's it, not a lot about the accident. I've only had two but they're both — different."

Robert looked at his daughter and wondered if she was telling the truth, the whole truth. Finishing his own cigarette, he threw the end to the ground and answered, "I know you turned down counselling after your accident but, don't you think its time you went for some?"

Nadine began to laugh. She wasn't about to take the time to talk to a shrink, they'd only label her as having some kind of PTSD.

"No thanks, honestly its not that bad."

Nadine was almost true to her word when ever her father asked if she'd had a flashback. She hadn't had one for weeks, the last was that time at the hospital when her and Robert were enjoying a cigarette break, it was just going to become harder as her brain was beginning to process the accident constantly.

The third flashback occurred in the month of July, sometime before Harry was due to break up from nursery for the summer holidays. She's alone in the middle of town surrounded by people when the sound of a nearby engine causes her to freeze.

The engine, she remembered the sound of the engine.

_She looked left and right before crossing, she definitely did. She always knew how to cross the road, her mother and father had drilled it into her head at the age of five that she should always look left, right and left again as she was crossing the road._

_To the right was a car. A silver car, registration beginning with VX56. It was revving its engine. There was a man. An old man who'd caught sight of Nadine at the edge of the road. The car door shut and the wheels began to screech against the tarmac as it headed towards her._

The fourth flashback occurred again in the month of July, same place, same time.

This time she isn't alone, she's dress shopping with her mother because there's a wedding they both have to attend. Nadine wasn't really paying attention. She grabs her mother's arm as she begins to remember why she stepped out when that car was coming towards her.

_Silver car, registration beginning VX56. Wheels are screeching against the tarmac. She knows to wait for the car to pass, she wouldn't reach the other side if she was to step out now. She feels someone knock into her and she loses her footing, been one the road instead of the pavement._

_The car speeds up. The rubber of the wheels burning and causing the air to smell. She's like a rabbit caught in headlights, she knows she needs to move but she can't. The car gets closer and closer until it collides with her sending her flying over the bonnet. _

"Nads? Nads?"

She hears her mother's voice and her thoughts are broken. Christine has that look on her face, the concerned mother look and she hates it because she hates worrying her mother. She moves her head sideways before she replies, "yes?"

"Are you okay?"

Nadine forces a smile, "yes."

Christine knows Nadine's hiding something, she knows her daughter far too well but she leaves it for now. They spend the rest of the day spending money and having lunch in that café which again triggers another flashback from that day. This time Christine seems to sense what's going on.

"Nads, are you having flashbacks from your accident?"

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**jottings** / i haven't written in a while. hope if you like it enough to review:3


	2. CHAPTER II

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**CHAPTER TWO**  
_take control, take control_

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Nadine nods her head and grabs her mother's hand.

_The food. She remembers been in the café and ordering a toastie, ham and cheese and a strawberry milkshake. Her mother ordered the exact same thing as her. She remembers them talking about school and how she was getting on well, she was trying to stay afloat in a school year full of bitches. _

_She remembers him, sitting there chatting on his phone. A man who wore the near identical suit as the one who handed her his lighter when she was sat on the wall outside Woolworth's. Another man walks in about five minutes afterwards, a grey haired man. The same man who was next to the revving car._

_It slowly dawns on her that it wasn't an accident. They'd planned to kill her._

The flashback ends and tears end up rolling down Nadine's cheeks and Christine becomes worried. She stands up from her seat and pulls her daughter into a hug, whispering the word ssh into her ear hoping she'll stop crying soon.

"How long have you been having flashbacks?"

"Not long," Nadine bit her lower lip softly, "about a month or so."

"And you haven't mentioned anything to anyone?"

There was a pause before Nadine replied, "I told dad but I told him not to tell you because I knew you'd worry."

Knowing Nadine had stopped crying, Christine sat down beside her. She knew at some point Nadine's memory would come back about the crash and she knew she needed to be prepared. She knew it wouldn't be easy for Nadine to remember the crash that almost killed her.

Nothing else is spoken about that day, Nadine just tells her mother that she's fine but Christine knows she isn't. Christine discusses the idea with Robert about referring Nadine for some therapy, she was clearly showing the classic signs of post-traumatic stress disorder.

After the final flashback, Nadine's behaviour begins to change.

At first it's little things like not going out as much, instead deciding to spend time at home with Harry or alone. The constant checking that the door and windows were closed and sometimes locked. Checking the mail constantly making sure it wasn't bugged.

At first Christine ignores it, hoping it'll go away but it doesn't, it gets worse. It becomes repeated, a daily chore for Nadine to ensure everything's running smoothly and Christine begins to worry, she knows her daughter's slowly losing her mind.

"Nads?"

Her mother's sat outside her bedroom door, the door's closed and her windows are shut. Nadine stands in the corner and slowly peeks out of the window. Outside is that car, the silver car with the registration beginning with VX56. She closes the curtain quickly, hears the car drive away and when she opens the curtains again, its gone.

"Nads?" Her mother shouts again and she sighs. Why can't parents ever take the hint that children want to be left alone?

She sits on the floor by her door.

"Nadine why is the door locked?"

"To stop him from coming in."

"Who?" Christine asked before Nadine replied, "The one who almost killed me. The one in the car registration beginning with XV56."

Nadine's choice of words caused a chill to run down Christine's spine. Nobody except Nadine knew what happened that day, whether the crash itself was an accident or premeditated. Christine couldn't think of who wanted her daughter dead, her daughter didn't have enemies right?

Christine knocked on the door, "can I come in? We need to talk. Nads?"

Nadine sighed deeply, stood up from the floor and unlocked the door. Opening the door she held it aside to let her mother passed and once she was in the room, closed the door and relocked it. Nadine sat on the edge of the bed as Christine sat beside her.

"What's going on Nadine?"

Nadine sighed, "I remember what happened that day, the day I almost died."

"Go on." Nadine swallowed hard, took a deep breath and began to explain everything she'd pieced together in her flashbacks, "Do you remember going to the café? Me and you ordered almost identical things, a ham and cheese toastie and a strawberry milkshake yes?"

Christine nodded, "yes?"

"It was quite empty do you remember? There was me and you and another man at the table beside the window. He was only young, mid-twenties wearing a suit? He was talking on the phone a lot but kept glancing at his watch like he was waiting for someone."

Christine held Nadine's hand as she carried on, "we were just about to leave when someone else came inside to order. The chime of the door alerted me and I just happened to look towards the table where the man was sat. There was an older guy, about late forties who sat down beside him."

Nadine paused as she collected her thoughts, "Well when we left, I went further into town. I sat outside Woolworth's and the same guy who was in the café was watching me from a distance. He approached me and I asked for a lighter."

"Are you saying it was planned?"

Nadine shrugged her shoulders, "I really don't know mum. All I know is that those two men who were in that café were the same two people in that car that nearly succeeded in killing me."

"Are you sure?"

Nadine took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't be a hundred percent sure of course, those two men that day may have been an unfortunate coincidence who knows? It was just strange somebody ended up pushing her into the path of the car.

"We need to go to the police."

Christine squeezed her daughter's hand and stood up. At that very second, the window downstairs smashed and Nadine and Christine looked at each other. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, both adults froze. Nadine knew this was it. They were back for round two.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	3. CHAPTER III

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**CHAPTER THREE**  
_now you're free to do what you want_

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The footsteps were getting closer to Nadine's bedroom door and Nadine turned to Christine, "you should go. I'm the one they want."

Christine stared at her daughter. Was she been serious? Did she really think she was going to leave her, her little girl at the hands of some monsters that had already tried to kill her once before? "I'm not leaving you Nads."

"But Harry, he needs you. He's already lost Issy, he can't loose you too."

"I'm staying here with you."

Christine squeezed her daughter's hand, reassuring her everything was going to be okay. The foot steps reached the top of the stairs until a familiar voice shouted, "Nadine? Chris? Are you home?"

Both Christine and Nadine stared at each other and burst out laughing. They were relieved to find it was only Robert who'd shouted, instead they'd both thought they were about to be killed. Both of them wondered what the sound of the breaking glass was and Nadine unlocked the bedroom door.

All three of them stood staring at each other before Nadine broke the silence, "what the hell did you break downstairs?"

"It wasn't me it was Harry," Robert protested, "Harry kicked the football and it smashed the window, why?"

Christine and Nadine made eye contact before Christine replied, "I'll explain later."

Nadine left Christine and Robert at the top of the stairs and went into the kitchen where Harry was sat at the table. She ruffled the top of his head. She loved having a little brother even if it was sad how he came to be part of the family, Issy his biological mother died and he survived.

"How was nursery Boo?"

"Good Nad." He swung his legs up and down and Nadine asked for a hug. He got up of the seat and wrapped his arms around his older sister. She kissed the top of his head. As they sat like that for ages, Christine and Robert had come down the stairs and was watching them from the doorway. They turned to each other and smiled softly, it hadn't been easy for any of them to adjust but they'd got there and now they were a family unit.

After dinner and once Harry had a bath and was in bed, Nadine had decided that she was going to tell her father about the flashbacks she'd been having and how she thought it wasn't an accident that almost killed her. She was sat on the settee with her head resting on her mother's shoulder when the news came on.

_"Two men have been killed in a high speed police chase this afternoon in Manchester City Centre. The car, a silver ford focus registration VX56 LRO was seen behaving erratically this afternoon on Howarth Lane. Although both men are yet to be formally identified, they are believed to be Harry Jones, twenty-four and Lucas Hammadam aged forty-five. Both men were pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics."_

Nadine listened to what the reporter was saying and slowly lifted her head up from her mother's shoulder. Christine and Nadine made eye contact for a second before Nadine broke the silence, "did you hear that?"

"Yes they're dead."

"Silver ford focus. VX56 LRO. The same silver car I keep seeing," she paused and bit her lower lip, "you know what this means right?"

Christine nodded, "you don't have to be scared anymore."

There was a silence on Nadine's part. This was too much to take in in one day. Both men that she thought were planning on killing her were dead and she didn't have to be afraid anymore. She rested her head on her mother's shoulder again and whispered, "I don't have to be scared anymore."

The rest of the night passed in a mixture of emotion. Happiness that she no longer had to hide and sadness because she would never receive justice for what she was put through. When they drove that car into her, they in a medical point of view, killed her. She was clinically dead when her heart stopped four times and it was touch and go for a while. Because of Harry and Lucas she may not have been alive to witness their deaths.

"Do you want a brew?"

"If you're making one," Christine replied and Nadine stood up and walked into the kitchen. Robert was stood by the kettle leaning against the worktop, deep in thought. She wondered what he was thinking about. His relationship with Chris? His job? The fact Nadine wasn't able to confine in him about how she was feeling?

"Do you want a brew?"

The question went unanswered for a moment and Nadine touched Robert's arm breaking him out of his thoughts, "I said do you want a brew?"

"Please," he smiled softly and there was nothing exchanged for a second. Nadine filled the kettle up with water and placed it on the stand before flicking the switch.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Nadine heard her father's reply and she rose an eyebrow. She knew her father was a rubbish liar, he always had been. It was where she'd got it from, the inability to be a decent liar. She swallowed hard before she replied, "bollocks, come on what's on your mind?"

Robert didn't know what to say, how could he tell his only daughter that he didn't want to be here anymore? He didn't want to work at St Victor's, or be consultant. He was missing out on so much of Harry's life and his relationship with Nadine and Chris was beginning to suffer.

He wanted all four of them to be a family, he could retire, leave the job behind and gain a nice pension to live comfortably off.

"Well if you're gonna be like that," Nadine smiled before shouting her mother, "Muuuuum! Dad's hiding something."

Christine heard what Nadine had to say and came into the kitchen. The kettle had boiled and decided to leave them both to it, she excused herself back to the living room leaving Christine and Robert looking at each other wondering who was going to talk first.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	4. CHAPTER IV

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**CHAPTER FOUR**  
_maybe give it up to me_

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"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Christine sighed, Robert was a shit liar sometimes. She leant against the kitchen worktop and stared at him, "come on Nads' is right. There's something on your mind and you're crap at hiding it."

Robert sighed and stared at Christine, "I want us to leave Manchester."

"What?"

Robert looked at Christine and replied, "I want us to leave Manchester, move somewhere and be a family. I'm getting sick of going to work everyday and saving people, putting Harry into nursery and missing out on the best years of his life."

"But I can't just leave Robert, you know that." She bit her lip slightly, "I can't just give up my job and come with you."

"I refuse to leave without you," he replied and Nadine who was earwigging in the living room slowly approached the kitchen. As she stood in the doorway and leant on the door, she began to talk hoping her parents would listen to her.

"Look you two, why can't anything be simple when it involves you both? Answer this question, do you love each other? Well surely you do because one you wouldn't have had me and two, seventeen years later you wouldn't join forces to raise Harry right?"

Robert and Christine looked at each other and then glanced at Nadine. They knew she was right, "instead of looking at me like I have sprouted ten heads, think about it. What harm is it going to do leaving here? This place holds shitty memories for all of us."

Nadine turned around and left the kitchen, leaving both of her parents looking at each other. Christine knew what Nadine was saying, she was right. This place didn't hold the best memories for everyone but could she really just pack up and leave everything she'd ever known?

Start again, somewhere different, a new life.

Nadine's sat in the living room wondering why things couldn't be simple. Why isn't life ever smooth running? Why doesn't everything happen the way you'd like it too. She stood by the fireplace and picked up one of the photographs in a frame.

The photograph, taken when Nadine was a toddler featured her, Christine and Kenny. All three of them were on the beach, Brighton Beach Nadine vaguely remembered from previous conversations. She stroked her finger along Kenny's side of the photograph and sighed deeply.

She hadn't spoken to Kenny in twenty-three months. The day of her accident, the day she almost died, her mother decided to tell Kenny the truth that Nadine wasn't his daughter. He hadn't spoken to either of them since and Nadine wasn't going to lie. It hurt. Kenny was the one who raised her, in her eyes he was her father, not Robert.

She put the photograph down and picked up the other. This one was bittersweet and it always found its way to her heart. The two people in the photograph were Robert, Issy and Harry. It was one of many photographs involving the three, all taken a few weeks before Issy's death.

It always made Nadine sad to think Harry would never remember Issy, the woman who'd carried him for nine months and birthed him. The woman who raised him for the first months of his life. It made Nadine realise how lucky she was to have her mother in her life every step of the way.

Christine came back into the living room first and noticed Nadine staring at the photographs on the fireplace. She tiptoed towards her daughter and wondered why she was so deep in thought, was it due to the impending move?

"Nadine?"

Nadine jumped, her mother's words breaking through her thoughts. She placed the photograph back on the fireplace.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

Nadine shook her head, "nothing I was just remembering." She sighed before she continued, "I miss Kenny sometimes. It's like a void neither of you can fill. He was the man to raise me as his daughter for fifteen years and the minute he discovered I wasn't biologically his, he left. That hurts."

Christine smiled slightly. She hated the fact things went wrong because of the mistakes she'd made in life. She knew she couldn't beat herself up over it, they couldn't change what she'd done. She just had to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

Nadine smiled slightly and looked at the photograph of Issy, "and then I realise how important you are even despite your faults. I have you and my father and a man who raised me as his daughter. Harry lost his mother, he'll never experience that love that I can feel from both you and Robert."

After a few minutes pause, Christine pulled Nadine into a hug and squeezed her.

"I'm just grateful that I have you, I love you."

"I love you too."

And that's what they settled on in the end, a new start somewhere different. A chance to live again.

To be a family, to be happy.

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**finish. So, probably wasn't the best but because of my hiatus for a while - first thing i wanted to write. :)**


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